Goodbye January

Hmm, I felt like ending January with one final entry.
Life has been pretty ordinary lately. Nothing special, except for my new tattoo!



I had it done yesterday by Ryan at Body Art.
I couldn't be happier with it (well...maybe when the coloring is done on the 13th)

Other than the tattoo I've just been trying to get used to the classes I'm taking this semester.

Wow, I felt like typing when I started this....but not so much anymore.
That's all, I guess.

I just don't know.

Over the past few months I have learned several things about myself, and my family.

My sister is moving back to NY, basically ASAP. I think it's a terrible decision since she'll be forced to live with my father. I tried to explain to her that it's not a good idea, and the reasons why...but she doesn't seem to agree with me. I don't want her to have to go through what I went through with him, but I guess she has to learn from her own mistakes. The experience will benifit her in some way, I'm just not sure how quite yet.

I don't know how I'm going to get to see her, or when...but I'm terrified that we'll lose touch.

Things seem alright, and then something like this pops up and everything is shakey again.

I'm ready to go back to Plattsburgh and live a little.
I need it.

I don't know what I'm going to do when I graduate.
Crap crap crap.

WHAT?

Everyone is either engaged or pregnant.
Or both.

What in the world?!

You taste like a bad decision baby, you taste like fun.

I love this place & I almost can't deal with it at the same time.
When I'm here everything fades away, but there is plenty new to stress me out.

Old worries become forgotten,
and new flood in.

Moving down here will either be the best decision I've even made,
or the worst.


I miss Plattsburgh.
I miss my roomie.
I miss steffi
I miss crazy nights.
I miss sleeping in.
I miss learning [yes learning].
I miss hugs and kisses.
I'm impatient.
I'm ready to go back.
I'm scared I wont want it to end.

New tattoo soon.
Pictures will be on here after I get it.

Take heart, sweetheart, or I will take it from you.

I wish people would just drop the bull shit and be straight with everyone else all the time. Cut the crap people. If you have something on your mind, come right out with it...don't expect other people to know how you're feeling and what you're thinking.

I'm incredibly frustrated.
And very lost.

"Barely conscious in the door where you stand
Your eyes are fighting sleep while your mouth makes its demands
You laugh at every word trying hard to be cute
I almost feel sorry for what I'm going to do
And your hair smells of smoke
Who will cast the first stone?
You can sin or spend the night all alone"

A day late, a buck short

December 14th I'll be on a plane to South Carolina =]

I've been thinking a lot lately, maybe a little too much actually. That's not really anything new though, I tend to over think things. It's strange, I'm not sad...but I don't feel right either. I don't know exactly how to describe how I've been feeling lately...uneasy? Apathetic? Numb? Lost? Hopefully Thanksgiving break will give me a push out of this, either that or it'll just get worse.
This is the first major holiday that my family won't be together. Any traditions that we had left are gone...what now?

I miss being a kid. I miss going to my grandmothers house on the holidays, seeing all of my relatives. I miss playing ping pong with my cousins. I miss playing pretend games with them. I miss the big family dinners and the sing alongs. I miss my grandma.